All right, listen up, I'm only going to say this once! My name is Gus Tarballs, and I own this little placement agency. If you're looking for work, you're in the right place. Dang, I've got work coming out my ears! Lookin' for some quick cash from a single mission? Head for the Instant Action. And if you think you're some kinda tough guy, sign up for a campaign to get an extended tour of duty. Dang, I've even got some work for the geeks, some kind of modem and network horse-crap! On the other hand, maybe you need to wipe an enemy nation off the map, or put down a rebel uprising? Look no farther, we've got the finest mercenaries in the business, right here! Just post your missions to the Mercenary Contracting Center, and it's as good as done! What? Are you still here? Dang! Well if you aren't looking for work, you can read the Mercenaries Field Guide for some tips and tactics while you try to get your nerve up. Or better yet, why don't you just go somewhere else! And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!